Proverbs 31

One Sunday morning during Erin’s hospitalization I had the chance to get away and attend our adult Bible fellowship (Sunday school class).  Our class had been working our way through Proverbs and interestingly that Sunday we talked about Proverbs 31.  That lesson ended up being the capstone course in my week long lesson in how great Erin is.  You see, I thought I knew all that Erin did on a day to day basis, but throughout that week I had one lesson after another about how much she did to keep our life in order and running smoothly.  The old saying, “You don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone” rang true.  It took Chris (Erin’s mom), my mom, various helpers from church, and me working together to do what she normally did around the house.  Lucky for us Tucker was the perfect baby; and I said on more than one occasion, “If Erin were home right now, she’d make taking care of four kids look like a piece of cake.”  For us, we held down the fort, but it rarely went smooth.  My favorite memory is of my sleep deprived mom trying to fill a baby bottle with coffee creamer instead of formula.  Another example is when I took Tucker to his first well baby visit with the pediatrician.  We have been taking our kids there for four years, and I had no idea where the office even was.  I had to call Erin in the ICU to get directions. I was proud of myself that I remembered to take the diaper bag, but I didn’t realize until I had arrived that key ingredients were missing.  I had no burp cloth, so when Tucker spit up all over I had to clean him up with a piece of rough paper towel.  I had no backup clothes so he continued to wear his puke stained outfit and I was praying that he wouldn’t explode out the other end.  The pediatrician asked me how many wet diapers he had been having and I confessed I had no idea.  I was glad Dr. Mantia knew the circumstances surrounding our visit or he would have thought I was a deadbeat dad.  Erin would have aced the visit and kept the other three boys in line at the same time.

By the second week of Erin’s hospitalization the boys were so out of routine that they were exhausted.  Erin always had them on a schedule and they functioned so well within their standard activities.  Chris was doing a phenomenal job mothering them, but every day was a new day with new people coming in and out to help.  One evening Chris and I were trying to plan out our evening and we wanted them in bed at a decent hour.  We thought we had a good plan…dinner would be delivered by a caring friend at 5 pm, we would eat quickly, then take the boys up to visit Erin at the hospital.  If we could leave by 5:30 we could have a good visit and be back in time to get the boys in bed.  However, when the meal was delivered at 5:00 it needed to bake for an hour.  Grrr.  By the time we would finish eating, there would be no time to drive up to visit Erin.  Plans foiled.  Frustrated I thought to myself, “If Erin had been here, she would have planned ahead and known whether the meal had to be cooked or not.”  She always thinks of stuff like that.  She’s always on time.  Snacks and water are always packed.  The cupboards are always stocked…and she always getting stuff on sale.  She’s always one step ahead of me, organized and planning what we’re going to do five weeks from now.  By the time that lesson in Proverbs rolled around I was pretty sure that God was trying to cement in my brain how great of a wife I had in Erin. 

Proverbs 31:10-31

A wife of noble character, who can find?

Her worth is far beyond rubies.

Her husband has full confidence in her

And lacks no good thing.

She has done him good not evil

All the days of her life.

She looked for wool and flax;

She was pleased to work with her hands.

She was like the merchant ships:

She would bring her food from afar.

She got up while it was still night

And provided food for her household

And a portion for her maids.

She considered a field and bought it;

From her own income she planted a vineyard.

She girded herself with strength

And strengthened her arms.

She saw that her business was thriving;

Her lamp would not go out at night.

She set her hand to the distaff;

Her fingers worked the spindle.

She spread her arms to the poor;

She reached out her hand to the needy.

She would not worry about the snow for her household

Because all her household was clothed in scarlet.

She made covers for herself.

Her clothing was fine linen and purple.

Her husband is prominent in the city gates

When he sits with the elders of the people.

She made linen garments and sold them.

She sold belts to the merchants.

Strength and honor were her clothing:

She laughed at the days to come.

She opened her mouth with wisdom,

Loving instruction was on her tongue.

She is the one who oversaw all the activities of her household;

She would not eat the bread of idleness.

Her children rose up and called her blessed.

As for her husband, he praised her:

"Many women have done well,

But you surpassed them all!"

Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting,

But a woman who fears the LORD, she ought to be praised.

Give her credit for what she has done;

Let her works praise her in the city gates.

This particular translation was done by a girl in our ABF named Jill Zwyghuizen who just finished her PhD in Old Testament studies.  A portion of her dissertation was on verb tenses in Hebrew poetry.  She provided amazing insight into Proverbs 31 and argues that when it is translated into English that it should be past tense instead of present tense.  (I can’t remember all the details as to why.  If you want to know I can hook you up with her email address.)  When written in present tense the reader can be overwhelmed by the amount of tasks and expectations a Godly woman is supposed to do every day.  However, when read in past tense it sounds like an older man is reflecting back on the life of his wife and recalling all the things she did that made her so phenomenal.  It could have been written as a eulogy or as an example to his sons on what to look for in a wife.

Thankfully I am not writing a eulogy.  Instead I am brought to my knees before the LORD saying, “Thank you God for giving me such a great wife and for allowing me to keep her by my side.  I wouldn’t be the man I am today without her and my boys wouldn’t be who they are either.”  

I'm glad that I was forced to oversee the day to day workings of the house for three weeks.  Now I can add to my list many more things that make Erin a Proverbs 31 woman.  By the time we are old and grey I will look back and echo the writer of Proverbs 31.  And, as I'm reading this passage to my boys I will encourage them to find a wife who is exactly like their mother.