I am not big on New Year's Resolutions. Usually they are things that people aim for but barely follow through on. However, I love the newness of a new year, a chance to start over, wipe clean and this year I am joining the ranks of those who aim to change in the new year. When I told Eric my resolutions, his first thought was, "well, those are kind of hard to measure". While they are, I think I will know intrinsically if I am meeting my own goals.
One of my pet peeves are blogs that only show the "good side" of the family. The things they do well, the beautiful pictures, their creative moments, their funny stories. Though I like reading all those things, they make me feel like I, nor my little family, could never measure up to that, could never be that creative, fun, obedient, organized, beautiful or carefree. I mess up, get impatient, have ugly days, get cabin fever, long for it to be bedtime, and fail God. So my goal of this blog is to be real, to share how we are trying to grow and learn and be good parents/spouses and prepare to be (gasp!) missionaries.
Okay, back to my resolutions....
Goal #1= To be a better mom
The people that I have mentioned this to so far have responded with, "Oh, you are such a good mom!". Now while I appreciate that, I also know my own weaknesses, faults, shortcomings and areas of selfishness. I am not looking for a pat on the back, just trying to be real. Being a mom is my "job" right now, and lately I have felt like I am not doing stellar work. Not all the reasons behind that are my fault. But some are. So here are the areas that I am going to try to improve.
1) Help my boys learn to play together.
Ever since Cole went to full day school this year, Cooper and Alex have struggled with how to play together. Most of the time they are begging me to play with them, or when I refuse because of something I actually need to get done around here, they lay on the floor waiting (im)patiently for me to be done and rescue them from each other. Cooper is not a leader, and AJ is too young to know how lead in play. I am going to look for ways (cause Heaven knows I haven't figured it out yet!) to teach them to be friends and playmates.
2) Learn each child's love language and use that to show them love.
They say you can't really tell a child's love language till they are 5, but I am going to try to figure it out. I plan to read Love Languages for Children. (I can't find my copy- did I lend it to YOU?) My kids are all very different, so hopefully this will help them feel special in the way they best receive love.
3)Learn how to balance giving them what they need from me, with SOME time for myself
I really struggle with this because having 4 small children means they need help with EVERYTHING! I have no idea what I do all day, but somehow I am always doing something for someone. They are all small, but not all at the same level. So trying to "play" with them at the same time sometimes works and sometimes does not. So I meet basic needs (which takes up 70% of my time), then I try to play with them, but when the little ones are sleeping, I would LOVE to just have time to do what I want/need to do. However, I still have one (on school days, 2 on weekends) little person that could REALLY use one-on-one time and thrives from one-on-one time. But on the days Eric works, this is the only time I potentially have to myself till 8/8:30 at night. So I need to find balance.
4) Have more dedicated "family time"
I like the idea of "family nights". Now while one could say that every night is family night while they are little, I think scheduling "family nights" and getting in the habit now will get them excited. This will lead to what I am looking for in the future, which is children and parents that enjoy being together. One of my biggest goals for my family is for us to always enjoy/want to be together.
5) Pray like crazy for these 4 precious boys and any other children we may adopt in the future.
I have a few more goals in this area, but I will keep them to myself, in order to protect the privacy of my kiddos.
Goal #2= Contentment
Ah yes, that illusive goal. Contentment- An internal satisfaction which does not demand changes in external circumstances. (Holman Bible Dictionary) or
"Contentment is essentially a matter of accepting from God's hand what He sends because we know that He is good and therefore it is good" (J.I. Packer) or "A quiet heart is content with what God gives" (Elisabeth Elliott)
There are things that I would change about my circumstances if I could. Most of us would. But this year, I am seeking to be inwardly satisfied by what Christ has given me and done for me. They say that comparison is the thief of joy. I have found that to be SO true. When I start looking around and seeing what others have that I want, my joy is extinguished and I become resentful and dissatisfied. These are the five ways I am going to strive to accomplish this.
From Calm My Anxious Heart by Linda Dillow (page 13)
1. Never allow yourself to complain about anything, even the weather
2. Never picture yourself in any other circumstances or someplace else
3. Never compare your lot with another's
4. Never allow yourself to wish this or that had been otherwise
5. Never dwell on tomorrow- remember that tomorrow is God's, not ours
So there you have it. My goals. Feel free to ask me how they are going or give encouraging words. Know that I struggle just like you do and yet am striving to be the woman God wants me to be. Do YOU have any goals for the new year?
