Grocery shopping a.k.a. Horror Show

Grocery shopping with your kids. That's enough to make any mom's blood run cold. Who needs a haunted house this time of year? You want a horror show? Come grocery shopping with me. So today was that day for me. I subject myself to this torture once a week. Why? Because if I don't we run out of fruit and milk and my kids starting eating wood chips and toilet water. 

Anyways, we get up and at 'em bright and early this morning, put the baby down for a nap, wake the baby up from nap (b/c of course he decides to take the longest morning nap of his little life TODAY), and head out. Four year old doesn't want to wear a coat, even though its 40 degrees. Who cares? One less thing to keep tract of. Get to Meijer and try to find one of those Ginormous carts with a bench. That are next to impossible to steer. That make you bump into little old ladies and knock over displays of mascara. And why? Because your children beg you for that cart. Even though, ironically, you spend the whole time reminding them to get back ONTO said bench, not to lay on the ground, please stop dragging your feet and sit down, if you fall off this we are headed to the hospital WITHOUT a free Meijer cookie. 

First thing we have to do is stop and mail a package at the Customer Service. I wait approximatley 20 years in line, which makes it only slightly better than my arch nemesis, the Post Office. Finally we mail our package (Happy Birthday, Geneva- you BETTER like it! ;) We then head for the non-food side of the store b/c we need a few things. I always debate this, it adds precious time, but without this stop I will have no conditioner for my brittle, dry hair and no light bulbs to replace the ones my kids broke by throwing pillow pets at their ceiling. So we go. We have to stop to examine the 75 off clearance Halloween section (I can't blame that on the kids), pick up the rack of clothes we knock over, remove the clearance Halloween skulls that end up in the cart, pick up some Halloween sprinkles (let's face it, I'm a sucker for sprinkles. Hush you sprinkle haters.) and move on to the food side. 

Pick up toy baby drops on ground. Cringe that I have nothing to clean them off with, but then remember I probably wouldn't take the time to even if I had a sink and soap right there. Try to keep children in my vicinity. Where's my list? Refuse their desire to buy 16 varieties of yogurt. Try to get them to sit down on that dang bench. My BP is slowly rising to dangerous levels that will land me in the hospital.....Yeah! Maybe then I won't have to finish this shopping trip!

Then we reach the bakery. I use the free Meijer cookie as a total bribe. So they have been good enough to get a cookie (and by good I mean "what can I possibly do that is insane and yet not get my cookie taken away?")

We are almost done! (with store #1- yes, I am so cheap that I subject myself to this again at Aldi) We get to the check out and I tell them they can go ride the Horsey (to avoid having them touch every item in the check-out line) I give them a penny, which Alex seems to like more than the horse and throws/retrieves numerous times before rubbing it all over his face. Note to self- pack wipes next time. 

We make it out of Meijer in one piece, only forgetting one thing (which I will not go back for- don't worry, it's not one of the children, even I'd go back for them). We then have to stop and feed the baby in the van, during which the children redeem themselves by being super cute and singing me songs and telling me jokes. 

We then head to Aldi, where the baby seat does not fit in the baby portion of the cart, so he has to sit in the big part of the basket, and I have to stuff any groceries around him. There is no bench cart (which they don't sit in anyway) so the other two must "walk" (read: run and crash into things). I love that Aldi is small and we can be in and out of there in 20 minutes. We make it out with my sanity hanging by a thread, but still there. What has kept me from leaping over the edge? (this is the part you should have been waiting for this whole time!)

I was reminded of my Bible study lesson from this week. My Side By Side Bible study is studying Linda Dillow's book Satisfy My Thirsty Soul (which I HIGHLY recommend) and our chapter last week was I Bow My Attitude. So as I would get really frustrated, I would remind myself of these truths:

At least you have these insane precious children to take with you. You have a grocery store in which you can buy any food item you would ever need. You have money to buy groceries. You have electricity to light your way and keep your food safe. You have a van to drive it home in. You are healthy enough to do this trip, which you could never imagine 6 months ago. You have a God who can sustain you through even this. You are soooo totally blessed. Get over this grumbling attitude. 

The culprits 

Breathe. Okay, we're home now, Diet Coke downed and kids taking a nap. We will make it. Thank you, Lord for that reminder.