Cultural Lessons

Here are some cultural lessons lately....

*Our missionary neighbors were hosting a large going-away party in which many people were supposed to come. Our homes are not large, especially not to hold the 60 people that were expected, so the plan was to have it in the yard. Unfortunately, the afternoon of the party it started raining (hard) and did not let up throughout the party. Someone commented about what a bummer it was that it was raining and our Kenyan neighbor made a statement that stuck with me.  She said, “rain is a blessing”. I am so “American” in my thinking sometimes. I think of rain mostly as an inconvenience, but to our Kenyan friends, their livelihood, their food supply depends on rain.

*We went to visit and share a meal with some of our Kenyan friends. They used to live right near us but in the past months have been able to move to a different home with electricity and more than 2 tiny rooms. Along with this electricity, they got a TV! They seem to have it on all the time when we are there. Near the end of our visit with them, I found it very ironic that the show that they had on was a home remodeling show. They were taking a studio apartment and giving it a make-over. As we watched about 5 minutes of it, they asked me if I understood what was happening. I tried to explain to my friends that don’t have running water, just got electricity, and eat with no “dining room table” why these folks needed their very functional apartment “remodeled”.

*For many years in Kenya, a way to discourage crime in the village is a process called mob justice.  When a criminal is caught, a mob of locals will severely injure or even kill the offender.  Mob justice is supposed to be a thing of the past, but we realized this week that it is alive and happening in Kenya.  Just yesterday Eric had a patient that was burned over 40% of his body as a result of mob justice. This man was known to be a thief and so a group of people set a trap for him to catch him in the act. When he fell for the trap and went to steal the item, the mob grabbed him, doused him in gasoline and set him on fire. He was burned badly but is still alive. In modern day Kenya the ideal mob justice would be a mob catching a criminal and taking this person to the authorities, but as you can see, it doesn’t always work that way. I have also heard of mobs stoning criminals.   

*When in Ethiopia we had a househelper that worked for the people whose house we were staying in. She was good at what she did, but she spoke very little English and cooked virtually no American food. As we were talking with some other missionaries we learned an interesting characteristic about some Ethiopians. If you compliment them too much about what a good job they are doing, they stop doing a good job and slack off. They may even be found taking a nap on your bed! So strange.

*We have some Kenyan friends who recently asked us for a significant amount of money to finance a business venture they wanted to persue. It is such a cultural difference, and we were very uncomfortable with this at first. Americans don’t ask their friends for money! We were unsure how to respond to such an “awkward” request.  However upon asking around, we learned that it is not at all uncomfortable for Africans to make requests like this to friends and family. In fact, by giving our friends money (but not giving to just any person who asks at our door, we have a relationship with these people) it strengthens our relationship in their mind. A really good and informative book on this topic is African Friends and Money Matters. Talk about  different ways of thinking!

*We’ve had a situation that is perfectly illustrated in the book When Helping Hurts (I HIGHLY recommend this book if you work with people in poverty, in the US or abroad).  There is a young man (around age 16) who comes around selling vegetables to make money for his family. He walk 1 ½ hours to come sell to the missionaries. When we first met him, we felt compassion toward him and his story and wanted to buy his wares to help him out (his father has died and his mother has many children including a special needs child to take care of). We admired his hard work to try to take care of his family.  However, over time (and with the help of Tenwek social workers and more veteran missionaries) we’ve learned more about his story and realized that our act of kindness might be hurting him and his family more than we were helping.  We realized that we may have been creating a dependence on “missionary money” and preventing his family from having a stable, independent livlihood.  When this young man goes away to school in a few months, he will not be able to sell vegetables to us and will leave his non-working mom alone to take care of his younger siblings.  We realized that right now, we needed to change how we invest in this family.  Our goal now is to assist his handicapped sibling to free up his mom, help his mom start a small business, and assist the local church in helping the family.  This will allow our young man to concentrate on his studies. It is a long complicated story, but a great example that you need to invest deeply in people and their entire situation, not just throw money at them.

* Kenyans love ugali! (their staple food, made of cornmeal, the consistency of mashed potatoes) It cracks me up because they could come to our house and have a meal, but if we didn’t serve ugali, they consider it a snack, no matter how big of a meal it was. Our neighbor went to Ethiopia for 6 days and she said by the 6^th day she was feeling weak and tired because she hadn’t had ugali! She came home and had it for every meal for days till her son said he was leaving if he had to eat it one more time! Ha! 

My kids love Sakuma Wiki and Ugali too!

*Church this past Sunday was Children’s Sunday. The local children had VBS this week and they used the service to share what they had learned. It was precious. There was even a sermon by a 12ish year old boy! I was quite impressed. Children shared verses, sang songs and led prayer. One thing that really hit home to me was when a small boy stood up and asked prayer for the mothers of their country because many die in childbirth. I really imagine that coming out of my child’s mouth, but that is not a huge reality for Americans. (though it was almost my story!)